Happy Friday!!

Barrett farts. Loudly.

Three students instinctively throw their left arm out, with right arm and elbow bent like they are sneezing into the crook of their arm.

Silent smirks are shared.

Justin raises his hand and asks if he can help Mr. Creighton clean out the storage room. He can collect the soccer balls. And the basketballs. And the tennis balls. Volleyballs too. The little balls especially.

Nathaniel, Finn, and Mikey dab. Twice.

Seventh graders are fickle, fickle creatures. Their heart once belonged to the Whip/Nae Nae then The Quan. Now the Dab. Dabbing. Not the weed kind, but the dance move, Cam Newton kind. Urban Dictionary defines dabbing as: A type of dance (move) when one crosses one arm diagonally across their chest and the other arm is straight and diagonally extended outwards from their body. This move is quite popular with dancers, football players, and teenagers.

Check.

They think I don’t know. They think I am oblivious. They think my blank stare means I am clueless. However, I am cataloging and computing. Internally, mocking. Outwardly, smiling.

In fact, seventh grade should just be summed up in dabs.

Instagram ancient Egypt sarcophagus: Three Dabs

Emily accepts your friend request. In social studies: Four Dabs

Mrs. Markus brings in donuts: Two Dabs...wait....they are Krispy Kreme: Three Dabs

Cheat on vocabulary quiz and don't get caught: Five Dabs

Don favorite underwear, I mean shorts, and Brian likes your new Chuck Taylor's: Ten Dabs

Find an overdue library book in the bottom of locker: One Dab

Copy and paste text from Wikipedia article. Change the first and last word. It’s not plagiarism. Is it?: Negative Four Dabs

Send off ten snapchats in orchestra. Fifty people see it by algebra :Ten Dabs

Simon dares Stephen to sniff the rat’s butt while dissecting the vermin in science. Stephen does, and then licks the rat’s ass: Fifteen Dabs

Shirt buttoned all the way to the top. Tucked in. Crew socks pulled high. Doc Martins perfectly laced. Hair coiffed like Barry Gibb from the Bee Gees. Reference Barry Gibbs from the Bee Gees. Act like you know who the hell Barry Gibb is: Seven Dabs

Mistakenly share Youtube video with the vice principal: Negative Three Dabs

Diligently researching for the Holocaust project also leads to good information on the Nyan cat, funny cat videos, how to make the screen barrel roll, and an Etsy shop for sweatshirts that say, “My boyfriend is hotter than your boyfriend." Mrs. Taylor wants a sweatshirt too: Twelve Dabs

Text your friend Danica about Grey’s Anatomy and how upset you are that George got hit by a bus. Netflix is so dank: Six Dabs

She texts you back instead about Full House and that she can’t believe Mary- Kate and Ashley aren’t on Fuller House. BTW, D.J.’s hair is totally fleek: Five Dabs

Did you know Sam dumped Aubrey for Taylor? I knew she shouldn’t have cut her hair: Two Dabs

Win the homeroom contest for best spirit wear ever. Hair is dyed blue with coordinating headband and leggings: Eleven Dabs

Get a locker pass and also go to the bathroom, say hi to Carmen in Spanish, act like I am studying in the break out area, but am really checking my phone and eating a Twix: Six Dabs

Roll eyes, but then give, ‘ I care and am listening look’ to teacher. Snap it with big eyes when she turns around: Four Dabs

Look up cat video again: One Dab

Scream, “I have Fifth Disease!” and run down the hall: Nine Dabs

Growl loudly and shout, "ShamWow!!": Two Dabs

Present a noice Google site for an English project: Eight Dabs

Spray Axe on binder and earbuds. Talk to Carmen. Get out putty and destress: Twelve Dabs

Incognito mode on the Chromebook. Look up how to type more than 31 characters on Snapchat. No one will ever know: Two Dabs

Last day of seventh grade! Let’s get turnt up!: Forty Dabs

And Here:

The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you. Therefore, the Holy One who is conceived in you will be called the Son of God.
-Luke 1:35

Whaaaaaaaa?
I’m pregnant?
With the Son of God?
And you are the angel of the Lord?
JOOOOOOSEPH!!

Happy Mother’s Day Mary!
With Love, XO
God

I don’t know for sure, but I’m guessing Mary took her Mother’s Day card, ripped it up into tiny pieces, threw it on the ground and stomped on it until the miniscule pieces were mashed into the dirt floor. She then made Joseph pick up the pieces and try to reassemble the card, because she felt bad for being so irrational.

Mary did get it together and later embody an attitude of acceptance and grace--even sing her praises for God, in the Magnificat. Her cousin Elizabeth was readily impressed and touched by Mary’s fortitude and faith. All the while, being a hormonal wreck herself, pregnant with John the Baptist.

The Blessed Virgin Mary immaculately conceived a child, when she was a just a child, that was to be the Son of God. An angel named Gabe communicated the news and her fiance’ almost left her because of it. She gave birth in a barn and three random men showed up with perfume and gold shortly thereafter. Mary didn’t even get to name her baby--a divine force circumvented and named him pre-birth.

Mary’s path to motherhood wasn’t exactly idyllic. Little choice, unfathomable circumstances, coupled with awkward and embarrassing conversations with her future husband hypothetically made for an uneasy pregnancy and birth. However, what the Bible portrays from the Annunciation forward, is she was God’s faithful servant, at peace with her mission, ready and willing to serve God. How, I don’t know. I can’t wrap my head around it. I still wonder if she was chanting, ‘ Be the vessel. Be the vessel,’ just to make it through the day.

Different faith traditions have vastly divergent views and interpretations of who Mary was and her role in the church and in Christianity. I am not here to say who is right and who is wrong. I am here to simply say she was a badass. Plain and simple. She was a mother. She was a wife. She was a servant of God. Her faith, love,and sacrifice was on another level. Her selfless and resolute love for Jesus and his teachings was extraordinary. Some say her actions portrayed weakness, but I think she was strong. Intelligent. Loving. Fierce. Compassionate. Vulnerable.

The Mary’s in my life are also superior and strong women. Their birth mothers thought so highly of Mary, the mother of Jesus, they named their daughters after her.

My paternal grandmother, Mary, was a college educated woman who liked to read, write, and say the rosary multiple times a day. She also birthed thirteen children; the eldest named Mary Karen, including a set of fraternal and identical twins. She had a cathedral sized statue of Mary on her landing. I used to think she put Mary there to scare the bejeezus out of us grandkids. Now I know she had her there as moral support. A friend, a confidant. And, maybe to still scare the bejeezus out of us.

My maternal grandmother Rita beat polio, went to a Normal school for teaching, and almost beat cancer. She named her youngest daughter Mary Kay, had a granddaughter named Mary Carol, and sisters-in-law named Mary Ella and Rosemary. Her favorite hymn was Ave Maria. Her other granddaughter’s middle name is Marie, a form of Mary.

When my husband was first acclimated into the family, I advised him to just call out, ‘Mary’ if he didn’t know someone’s name. Assuredly, someone would answer.

The women in my life named Mary aren’t just a coincidence. The Blessed Virgin Mary was a symbol of faith, grace, love, and strength. These women embody the soul and spirit of Mary, but also of mothers and women. They care, they coalesce, they want what’s best for their children, even if it means sacrifice and strain on them. They lovingly do so. Do not have pity or self-loathing for them. Be grateful. Be merciful. Be a badass. Be proud of the Mary’s in your life. Say a prayer. I guarantee they pray for you.

Hail Mary, full of grace.
Our Lord is with you.
Blessed are you among women,
and blessed is the fruit of your womb,
Jesus.

Holy Mary, Mother of God,
pray for us sinners,
now and at the hour of our death.
Amen.

Happy Mother’s Day to Mary and all the women who embody grace, strength, and sacrifice for those they love and cherish.