Girl Scout Flunky


Published in Akashic's Terrible Twosdays


By Rita Davis


Every day at 3:15 p.m. my son and I walk two blocks to pick his sister up

from kindergarten. Every day he has a fit, a small tantrum, or decides to become

sixteen months old and needs to be held the few . . .

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December 16, 2014

Ethan Allen and Mikel Jackson

And Cerulean

Sometimes in Merica', we don't realize and appreciate the freedoms we have. We definitely take them for granted. When it come to naming our bundle of joy, we can name it whatever the heck we want. Ball. Bat. Paper. Pencil. Whatever. It is our choice and obviously, anything goes. In other parts of the world, there are rules, . . .

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December 09, 2014

Elf by Day....

Stripper by Night

Hook, line, and sinker.

First day back to school from Turkey Day break and the buzz in the kindergarten room is the Elf on the Shelf. He's the real deal. No mistaken' it. Maria has one. Curtis does too. Did you know he talks to Santa? And we can't touch him. Not at alllllll.

We introduced Elfie a few years . . .

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December 02, 2014

Go Get Busy Bee

Worst in Show

" You want your busy bee?"

"It's in the crate, it's in the crate!"

"It's not in there. It's not in there!!"

"Go get Busy Bee! Go back to the hotel and get Busy Bee!"

As I sat Thanksgiving morning and watched bits and pieces of the Westminster Dog . . .

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December 02, 2014

Reasons my kids are out of bed

8:oo pm-7:00 am

I thought 'baby sleep' was the worst. Up. Down. Up. Down. Up. Down. If they came with a timer, it would be incredibly helpful. One would know they had 10 minutes to shower, 5 minutes to throw a load of laundry in, 2 minutes to scarf down a sandwich.

However, I have come to the conclusion that 'kid sleep' is worse. Or . . .

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November 28, 2014

The Evolution of Thanksgiving

through the stomach of my middle brother

Age 3
Yay! Fudge!

Age 4
Yay! Fudge!

Age 5
Yay! Fudge!
Vomits profusely on the way home from eating an entire pan of fudge.

Ages 6-18
Eats only dark meat turkey, brown and serve rolls and fudge.
Demands my parents go through McDonald's drive-thru

Ages 6-18
Orders a plain . . .

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November 24, 2014

Girl Scouts


Girl Scouts

I wanted to be a boy growing up. Not to the degree of being transgendered or having real misgivings, but I simply wanted to be a boy. I was okay being a girl, I was just more into sports, skateboarding, and how many times I could go to the ER. I was your stereotypical tomboy who got in a squabble with a relative over . . .

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November 20, 2014